|
Allah has made every lady
regardless of financial status, as a queen of her own home this is the
reason that a lady has to be very responsible because she is the one who
runs the show, it is just like a prime minister who runs a country.
A wife is a trustee of her
husband's earnings, and she is responsible for raising her children
according to an Islamic manner. If a lady is careless about these
matters, or if one child goes out of hand, then she has no idea, due to
her small ignorance, that she destroyed an entire generation, because
every child is a seed of one generation.
Lets realize how can a lady
make her husband successful?
To give right backup, from
home morally, spiritually, or mentally, to make him stronger.
What is backup? In order to
take care of her husband's requirements at home, such as, laundry, to
iron his clothes, food ect.
If the husband is busy taking
care of himself, then his mind will always be occupied, and is unable to
plan himself for his success, if he involves in these types of chores.
To give moral support is,
never to complain of financial difficulties, and always smile, and use
the word "don't worry, keep yourself strong, I am with you, and
al-hamdullah, we are better than any other family," and to remind him
about examples of people lesser than your family status. Show your face
to be fully satisfied, practices like this will make you better than the
family of any millionaire. Another point is to never ask for anything
which he is unable to afford, and if he tries to lie about his financial
status, then remind, that you are his partner, and not his girl-friend.
And that you are part of his body, and openly about our earnings, in
order to manage the family accordingly, and remind him that it is the
women who makes the house, just like a bird makes her nest. Never put
pressure of your family, or in laws on him. Because you and your
husband, started your own life, and that any brother or sister have
there own lives, do not let the life of anyone else interfere in your
own life. And never tell anyone else, even your own mother, about your
internal family difficulties, because every family does go through
financial or any other difficulties, in the beginning. Remember your
best friend is your husband only, anyone else is your competition, and
can misguide you, unless they have fear of Allah. Because if someone is
not a practicing Muslim, never take advise from them, because it is not
them who talks, but it is Satan. Discuss your matter or problems only
with your husband. No one else in this world can solve your problems,
except only to destroy your family life. If you are a practicing Muslim
and have fear of Allah, then you are a winner here and in the hereafter.
Because to work at home is not your duty, Islamically. Allah gives you
rewards, and chores are like worshipping.
Why? The reason behind this is
because the future of the family is based on the lady. It is she who can
her husband successful, or can make him husband loose.
To take care of your husband
spiritually and mentally is to make sure in your house, the atmosphere
is Islamic. All the comfort can be maintained for your husband, so when
he comes home tired, and he expects to get comfort from his home, it
should always be clean and tidy. And always talk about how you perform
your prayers, and talk about the Qur'an, and Hadeeth, and the tilawat of
the Qur'an is going on lightly. When this type of atmosphere is
devolved, then the husband can only think about his home and family,
whatever is affordable. Even if any small quantity of food is being
served, still do some side serving, and a glass of cold water, or a cup
of tea, whatever pleases him. He will then respect you like anything,
because his dreams are coming through, the way he is being served by his
sister or mother. Always to take care of any small issues regarding your
husband which can please him. Never speak loud in front him, and if he
is a bit angry, then stay cool and quiet, let him cool down, even if he
is wrong, and while he is angry never do the mistake of proving him
wrong, because you are not his enemy but his partner. Because of
something that is mentally disturbing him, that is the reason he is
angry, and at that time he needs full support from you, let his anger
come out, so he remains healthy, without any stress. This is great
support by you, to not develop any arguments, and naturally a wife who
does this will be rewarded by Allah greatly, inshallah.
Now lets realize that when one
becomes a mother, what important responsibilities take place, and what
important role you have to raise a few generations, depending one the
number of children you may have.
Being a mother, how much do you care about
what is in your womb? After birth, you really take care of your baby,
for example, in the middle of the night you feed your baby, or you
change your baby's diaper, you won't even sleep the entire night, but
you will look after your baby, but as soon as the baby starts to walk,
you become careless about the baby and start to think that the baby can
go on its own. This is the real time when the baby starts to walk, and
discovers new things, and the real teaching time of the baby starts. The
baby looks towards the daily routines of the mother or father, because
the mother is the first school of the baby, 80% of the time, the baby
stays in the mother's hands, instead of the father. One should look at
her own self, how close is her actions towards Islam. Which the baby
will adopt. If you wear a hijaab, then the baby would play, while
wearing a hijaab. And if you pray 5 times a day, then the baby starts to
pray with you, and stands to start making sajdah or ruku'. And if the
baby listens to examples from the Quran and Hadeeth, and this is always
mentioned in front of the baby, while the baby is growing, then in the
first seven years, the baby learns all you activities, regardless good
or bad. We are the one who transfers our actions to them. They are just
like a blank tape, they record whatever the mother does, or how does mom
talk to others, and how she screams, or what kind of complains she
always makes. All of this is recorded by a baby, and it is very
important Islamic ally for a lady to behave best.

And obey not the disbelievers and the hypocrites, and harm them not
(till you are ordered). And put your trust in Allâh, and Sufficient is
Allâh as a Wakîl (Trustee, or Disposer of affairs). (33:48)

Then We have put you (O Muhammad SAW) on a plain way of (Our)
commandment [like the one which We commanded Our Messengers before you
(i.e. legal ways and laws of the Islâmic Monotheism)]. So follow you
that (Islâmic Monotheism and its laws), and follow not the desires of
those who know not. [Tafsir At-Tabarî Vol. 25, Page 146]. (45:18)
Now a learning time starts of the baby, when
the baby saw you praying 5 times every day, and behaving best with your
husband, and no arguments or screaming, quiet and smiling all the time.
And not moving with misguided, non practicing Muslims, and always
whenever seeing anything which is prohibited, and following things which
are according to the will of Allah. Before the age of puberty, when the
child is taught these things according to the Qur'an, and the examples
of the Prophet. Then nothing will be new for the baby when it grows up,
and it will be easy for it to adopt. When the baby opened its' eyes, and
saw real Islam being practiced by you and your husband, then it will be
very easy for the baby to understand the Qur'an and the Hadeeth.
You can see only a few years hard work with
your child, will support you and pay you back for the rest of your
life.
And whoever is careless of family values, and
give first priority for there entertainment, or worldly education, then
the family will be destroyed, and once the children will grow, they will
not care about there mother and father. And they will not even give
there mother or father a small amount, in order for them to survive.
Regardless what mother of father would spend on there child, if there is
no Islamic training, then the suffering will be until death. Whatever
seed you plant, the tree will grow accordingly, if a seed was planted
carefully and rightly, then there will be a good and healthy tree, and
if a bad seed was planted, meaning no Islamic training, then there will
be a bad tree as a result, meaning you won't get fruits in return from
the tree, meaning your child.
To make sure you are on the right path,
always focus on examples, by these honorable ladies of Islam.
Did anyone ever realize about Khadijah, the
wife of the Prophet (SAW)? Just take yourself in the time before the
prophecy of the Prophet (SAW), when he use to work for Khadjiah (RA),
who was a very rich and a noble lady.
After the prophecy of the Prophet (SAW),
Khadijah set out with the Prophet [pbuh] to her cousin Waraqa bin Nawfal
bin Asad bin ‘Abd Al-‘Uzza, who had embraced Christianity in the
pre-Islamic period, and used to write the Bible in Hebrew. He was a
blind old man. Khadijah said: "My cousin! Listen to your nephew!" Waraqa
said: "O my nephew! What did you see?" The Messenger of Allah [pbuh]
told him what had happened to him. Waraqa replied: "This is ‘Namus’
i.e. (the angel who is entrusted with Divine Secrets) that Allah sent to
Moses. I wish I were younger. I wish I could live up to the time when
your people would turn you out." Muhammad [pbuh] asked: "Will they drive
me out?" Waraqa answered in the affirmative and said: "Anyone who came
with something similar to what you have brought was treated with
hostility; and if I should be alive till that day, then I would support
you strongly." A few days later Waraqa died and the revelation also
subsided. [Bukhari 1/2,3]
See the honor of Khadijah (RA), if it was any
other lady, regardless of character, who was rich, and if she knows her
husband who use to work for her, is going to be thrown out from the
city, she will know right away that she will loose her status, money,
and property. Any lady would then think about her protection, and what
will happen to her, and what should she do. And would start to think how
can she be far from this.
We should see that Khadijah (RA) never
complained, during all the tortures of her husband, which was happening
at the early time of Islamic revelation. Do we think that the family was
safe, and nothing ever happened to them? And they never went through
hardship?
While the Prophet (SAW) sometimes never had
any food to eat for days, one should realize what was also happening to
his family.
Can anyone find anywhere that his family
spoke ever complain? How do we claim ourselves to be Muslim, while
forgetting these events. One of the most honorable ladies, Khadijah
(RA), while they were suffering during there boycott in the open desert
for 3 and a half years, which means no merchant can sale anything to
them, or no baker can bake anything for them, they were surviving on
leaves. They had no shelter, one can imagine the heat of Makkah, and the
coolness in the night, of the open desert, it is very easy to say these
things, but when the people performing Hajj, they have to spend only a
day in Arafah, and one night in Muzdallifah, people for a single day
while taking all the food, and all the facilities provided to the
pilgrims, after that even when people come back from Hajj, some get very
sick, and others rest for a few days. Some complain about the hardships
of the hajj, astegfuallah.
Now we should think how the believers in
Allah passed there time. If we claim to be a lover of the Prophet (SAW)
always remember that when we read stories of hardship of our beloved
Prophet (SAW), to put yourself in that position, and not to just read it
as a fairy tale. We should realize that how many of us are out there who
actually drop there tears after reading these events. We can conclude
what kind of hard heart we have today.

They are deaf, dumb, and blind, so they return not (to the Right Path).
(2:18)
Read this verse (2:18) carefully, and to make
sure, inshallah, that we do not want to be one of them on whom Allah
curses.
"Deaf"
means people cannot here the right thing, and ignore it.
"Dumb" meaning that
they do not want to understand, after guidance has come
"blind"
meaning that these people cannot see good things, which means, that
after opening the Qur'an, they do not want to understand the commands of
Allah (SWT).
"so they
return not", Allah is certifying hypocrisy of people. And we have
to make sure that we are not one of them, inshallah.
When these people were the most favorite to
Allah, then why did they have to suffer?
To set an example for us, that without making
complains, whatever Allah tests come from Allah (SWT) during our
lifetime, one should only be thankful and never complain.
Whenever one feels depressed, and feels like
a looser, and has nothing. Then realize that if you loose one eye, how
much will you be thankful to Allah that you still have another eye left.
Then you will forget all money, clothes, furniture, and all other
luxuries of this life. These doubts are put by Satan in our minds.

And wish not for the things in which Allâh has made some of you to excel
others. For men there is reward for what they have earned, (and
likewise) for women there is reward for what they have earned, and ask
Allâh of His Bounty. Surely, Allâh is Ever AllKnower of everything.
(4:32) |